From having roots in the Philippines, I often heard my elders call male cousins or friends as soltero which culturally sees a man as single, independent and exploring their options while living out their youth to the fullest. However, filipinos don’t call women soltera, instead they are called dalaga, and when I  was called this, it always kind of stung because culturally, being a dalaga meant you are a grown woman who is expected to find a partner. Plus, this was often followed by the question “are you dating someone already?”.

Growing up as a woman, I was made to think that the main goal in life, was to live my twenties and successfully find love, security and happiness in a partner. My flaw was I didn’t practice these values on myself causing me to block and limit my true potential and what I wanted from a partner. After having many failed relationships and crippling mental health, I decided to change my mindset. I focused on learning to be at peace with my own company without the fear of being alone, discovering what I enjoy and want as an individual, and putting to practice the values that are important to me; and for me, these are the moments I feel my soul glow.